I Participated In Mean Girl Behavior…As an Adult
My social style has been in the middle ground of "cool" and dork. I appreciate that I am a social chameleon. I have perfected the ability to adapt and connect with people from all background. I am noticeably different I have always been able to have compassion for the outcast, first. In so many ways, I am an outcast or a social disappointment. As a black woman, I do not fit into most stereotypes and embrace new experiences and cultures.
I have always been the one to gravitate towards the little person or those who are overlooked.
It pains me to reflect on this summer and embrace that I participated in mean girl behavior. FaceTime has been coin and started from the movie, mean girls. The movie came out in the early 2000s and was written indirectly by Tina Fey. It is now a cult classic.
Urban Dictionary. Defines mean girl as. Girls who are bullies and use “girl agression” (nasty comments, trickery, deceit, excluding people from events, spreading rumors, stealing boyfriends,etc.) to manipulate other girls. They will use text messaging, AIM, email, three-way-calling, and any other weapon at their disposal to acheieve these goals. A mean girl is someone or a group of women who actively bully, gossip about or “other” other individuals. I have never seen myself as such. Of course, like most people, I have asshole tendencies but never was I a mean girl. I think the most unique experience about my behavior in this period of time is the particular because of me girl behavior among my black women.
Girls who are bullies and use “girl aggression” (nasty comments, trickery, deceit, excluding people from events, spreading rumors, stealing boyfriends,etc.) to manipulate other girls. They will use text messaging, AIM, email, three-way-calling, and any other weapon at their disposal to acheieve these goals. -Urban Dictionary
This behavior begins with a bridal shower. He was the friend of the bride not a bridesmaid or maid of honor, just a bridesmaid. There were seven other bridesmaids and many of the bridesmaids have known each other since middle school or high school. Particularly, there was one bridesmaid who was not liked by most of the group.
What began as petty jabs to her outside of group facetime calls became sneaky and messy bullying. we talk to her appearance, her demeanor, and her facial expressions, and the way she participated in the bridal events. Looking back, I am truly embarrassed that I can’t fit a woman behind her back and I did not know. I applaud her ability for showing up despite the intentions. At the bridal shower, we even did not speak to her. It was gross. But she still participated with a smile. I don’t believe that everyone is innocent or without fault but I think everyone deserves to be treated with respect and patience.
I said where is it the women who were a part of the bridal party or once popular in grade school. I also have a theory that people who are mean as adults peak in high school. Individuals who peak in high school continue the practice of talking about people, material gain, and isolating those who do not align with what is popular on social media or acceptable. this would be Regina George if she had not been redeemed at the end of the mean girls movie.
None of this behavior was reading all. I felt burdened with anxiety about the entire situation. Immediate relief that the wedding was over and I could leave and never turn back.
