Six Things I Learned Couch Surfing for a Year

I am not proud nor am I ashamed of what my life has been this year. I have not had stable housing for myself which means I have not been able to provide shelter for myself all of 2021. Last year, I went to visit my parents for a quick vacation which would be just three months. Soon, this shit turned into an eight-month experience abroad. Of course, this situation seems like a dream but the return was a nightmare.

I came back to a country that seemed oblivious to the pandemic. I also came back without a place to stay. Before I left, I have been staying with family but had no intention of running into a pandemic just as I was beginning to pull myself back together. I also did not anticipate an inability to find housing this year. There is a housing crisis in America. The home application is a struggle in itself. To prove that you have income is difficult. My income has been unemployed for a year. I was finally hired as a private contractor. I have never received paystubs or receipts of my payment. To keep my bills afloat, I have done gig work, delivering on Instacart and for Amazon to save money and pay my bills. But ultimately, I have been couch surfing and hopping from different Airbnb’s. I consider myself an expert now and couch surfing. And there are some important takeaways from this experience.

1. You are always a guest. Even if you are staying with family or your best friend, you are a guest and should behave as such. When you want to eat, if you want to eat, your hunger or food timing is secondary to whoever is the property or leaseholder. I suggest using apps such as too good to go or stocking up on easily microwavable or frozen foods. This will help ease any tension that may be incurred from sharing a kitchen with another adult or person.
2. Put your things in storage. Or throw them out. You are taking space in a space that at your own. That is the harsh reality. To make sure that the people in this home feel comfortable and in their own home, it is important for you not to make a home of their home. If you have a lot of stuff, put it in storage or Get rid of it.
3. Craft an exit plan. I had an excellent plan but life continue to happen and my exit plans blew up in my face. I encourage you to create an exit plan that is airtight without any possibility of disruption. Make sure that this plan has all scenarios involved and never gets off track.
4. Get out of the house. Getting your mind off your situation is great but physically being out of the situation is important. Only come home to the couch that you were surfing on when it is time to sleep and to bathe. Anything else can be done from a library, coworking space, or your car.
5. Be Humble in your privilege. Having a place to go when you are not able to shelter yourself is a privilege. I have learned that so many people who end up in my situation end up in shelters or embrace the #ThanLife.ByDefault. If you have a place to go, you are still privileged. There are 553,742 homeless people in the United States and even more living below poverty. Most of these individuals live in metropolitan areas. Although couch surfing and living off the kindness of strangers, friends, and family is not perfect, it is still a beacon for gratitude.

Here are some resources if you are couch surfing or facing a life without shelter.

The Continuum of Care (CoC) program is the “front door” for homelessness services across the country. Contact your community’s CoC to learn about access to shelter, housing, and other resources.
Contact the CoC in your area (after entering an address, click the map to find contact information for your local CoC)

A 2–1–1 hotline is available in many communities and offers trained staff 24/7 to help residents access services like shelter, health care, food, and other social services programs.
Find your community’s 2–1–1 hotline | Call 2–1–1

The National Coalition for the Homeless offers basic information on how people experiencing homelessness can get help and access resources.
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