Women Love Women, and their Girlfriends

There is something happening in my beloved sapphic community. The U-Haul lesbian is not an anomaly. The well-known behavior of women falling into relationships fast and moving in within 3 days to 3 months is a running joke in the community. U-Hauling can be awesome or it can lead us into a living arrangement full of surprises that may be great but can also be unsettling. Apparently, we have a biological inclination to cozying up. For women, the experience can be similar to love on steroids.

Biologically our brains are wired for a relationships and connection. We emit much more Oxytocin than men. Oxytocin is a hormone women emit when they’re falling in love, having sex, or breastfeeding. It’s biological encouragement to attach. It feels so good that for some women, in this case lesbians, they can’t get enough. Since there’s two women, there’s twice as much Oxytocin floating around… source

I believe that the deep led us into a place that I think, is strange and questionable. Now that there are more wives married to wives than ever before, there is a new behavior that is common. Married queer women are dating openly outside of their nuptial agreement. For anyone who uses the applications for women only, there is always a couple or a polyamorous profile without pictures that are seeking fun only.

I recently watched an Instagram story of one of my favorite creators, Ambur abundance, speak about the party for the community. She states that "can I get some of what you have first before you ask me about joining your Pollyanna Association. Of course, I am paraphrasing but the sentiment is present, and waiting to hear about polyamory is something that is practiced in the kitchen with you from cis and nonbinary people.

The Allure of Polyamory

My experience with that is lasting. There is in certain desired excitement about dating someone who is completely committed to someone else although your apartment house that they are doing. My suitor was very open and honest from the moment we met on a dating app. Truly, I remained intrigued. And also resolve that possibly would ultimately and then I platonic function. My hope was that this friendship would lead to connecting with one of their mutual friends who may happen to be single. I know this is silly and a very reaching and silly scenario I create it in my own head. However, i went on a date and was simply smitten. Truthfully, I am still smitten. And I don’t see an end currently.

Although I have no interest in joining as a struggle, hi I am interested in dating. I see nothing wrong with dating someone who is randomly and available to date me. My intrigue truly is about the frequency and perceived normalcy of polyamory in the queer community. I can’t help but ask myself if this plays into negative stereotypes of hyper-sexual Gay people or the stereotypes of lesbians who are on the hunt for straight women and maybe seeking them out through polyamory. I have come across a number of women who entered a polyamorous relationship although they had a husband. I think that we are towing a very fine line this game. Now I am on the inside looking out while looking in from the outside as well.

There MAY be heartache

Of course, I have not been so naïve as to not predict the risk I am taking. Although my demeanor may seem very logical and calculated concerning means of the heart, I am a Simp. As stated in the above quote, it is easy to fall in love within sapphic relationships. Truly I have convinced myself that all of this is for research and information gathering but I am very well aware that the likelihood of me “catching feelings“ would be pretty high. To avoid this, I would commit to casually dating. Understanding that the courtship with a polyamorous person is not of prime importance.

Communication is key. Communication is key within myself as well as with those who are already coupled.

*please note that this is a living piece and will likely be updated as things progress.*

-xoxo